Monthly Archives: June 2012

Stop making top 10 lists for sports

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It’s a pretty simple formula. Say something over and over again and sooner or later it becomes fact among the common public. The more people believe something, the more they drown out the logical ones who question it.

If you continue to show Derek Jeter needlessly cutting off a ball on its way to home plate and Jeremy Giambi idiotically refusing to slide in Game 3 of the American League Division Series on “Top 10” lists above walkoff homers in the World Series, and people begin to believe it was one of the greatest plays of all time.

The more people see the clip, the more people overrate Jeter’s defensive ability. The more people overrate Jeter’s defensive ability, the more undeserving awards he gets and so on and so forth.

It all starts with making a list. All media outlets are guilty of it. There’s nothing easier for a person to read than a list; no information or reasoning, but rather just a list. The power of a list is incredible. Nothing will make a fan more irate or give a fan the “I told you so,” fuel like a list.

I, for one, have given up on the sports’ lists a long time ago. I will look at them, sigh and move on with my life. Although my fingers will shake over the keyboard with the want to scream at the overrating of Curt Schilling pitching seven innings with some blood on his sock or Jeter taking 10 steps to dive into the stands or David Freese using Nelson Cruz’s horrible defense to tie a World Series game, I stop myself. I will resist throwing things at my television listening to John Kruk, Skip Bayless or Steve Berthiaume drooling with words like “clutch,” “gutsy,” “scrappy,” and “grinder.”

These lists do nothing but force stereotypes on fans. A “web gem” doesn’t mean a player is good defensively. A good defensive player doesn’t necessarily need to make a “web gem” because he or she gets to a ball without the need to dive or can throw the ball to first without having to jump in the air.

So we should not respect the players who make athletic plays look easy because they are more talented than the athletes who have to dive for everything?

It’s disrespectful to sports to narrow the entire history to a few plays or performances and try to state that a certain play is the greatest play or a certain performance is the greatest performance as if it’s a fact.

They sure are easy to read and write though.

State track is proof I do have a soul

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People with red hair and freckles aren’t the only ones who question their souls.

As a journalist, it is incredibly easy to question whether or not there’s anything in our heartless cave filled with gossip, rumors, dirt, memorized responses to complaining phone calls and a few facts.

With every cheesy headline or cliché sentence written — or the thoughts of calling a coach to question him or her about something, or talking to an athlete in tears about ending their sporting careers — it gets harder and harder not to hate oneself.

After state track, I’m happy to report that I may have found a soul.

I thank Adrian’s Austyn Thier — who, thanks to autocorrect in Microsoft Word, has the biggest nightmare of a last name in the history of prep sports (Thier automatically changes to “their” each time used) — for helping me find my soul.

Although, I will say the fact you Minnesotans haven’t figured out whether or not you want to go with “on” or “en” to end your last names is a far bigger pain.

I digress.

Thier ended her high school running career Saturday at the track and field state meet at Hamline University in St. Paul. She added medal No. 13 for both track and cross country to the trophy case, with a third-place finish in the 800-meter run.

With temperatures in the 90s, Thier, who also ran in the 4×800-meter relay earlier, crossed the finish line, walked to the grass of the football field and slowly went down to the ground.

The newspaper is a pest in the sense it never goes away. Every day it’s empty, and every day it needs to be filled. There is no pushing work aside. You’re constantly thinking of ways to fill it, so you’ll sacrifice your soul a little to fill those sections.

A camera is the best way to fill it. Nothing draws the eye to a story like a picture, and there’s no better picture than those that show true emotion. You look for that blank stare after a loss or that unmistakable smile and embrace of victory.

Thier was the last area athlete I needed a picture of, so I had waited for that emotional arms-raised picture after her final high school race.

But she went down.

There was my chance to get a picture of struggling, but, instead, since no one from the medical tent felt like leaving the shade, I handed the poor girl a cup of water.

Then, some brilliant person asked if the girl who had been laying in the fetal position for five minutes was OK and brought her a towel.

See. We aren’t all terrible people in the media.

I probably should mention, before nominating me for a Nobel Peace Prize, I did tell Thier I wasn’t going to be able to take a picture of her getting her medal if she stayed on the ground.

Like a true athlete who had put up with the media for years, she apologized and struggled to try and get up.

It was a joke, Austyn. Drink your water, so I can pat myself on the back and forget for a second that I’m a sleazy journalist.

There are bounties in all professional sports

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I hate to be the bearer of bad news to all those wholesome thinkers out there, but athletes in contact sports get paid to do horrible things.

A boxer gets paid to literally knock a person unconscious, a hockey player gets paid to smash another person’s body against glass and football players get paid to knock one another to the ground.

What is the difference between a hit meant to hurt and a hit meant to…well…hit?

The New Orleans Saints have gone a tad overboard what with having a ledger apparently commending players for “cart offs” and “whacks” in their bounty scandal. Didn’t they learn anything from “Casino” or “The Untouchables”? Never keep a book.

Nevertheless, is a safety or linebacker really thinking, while a play is developing, whether or not the tackle they are about to make is going to get them a “cart off” or a “whack”? These are split-second decisions and moves by NFL players, not mobsters planting a car bomb.

It’s sick to think that people would get paid for hurting other people, but what if that’s your job? Athletes do things the average person physically cannot do or mentally can’t stomach, so where do we draw the line between an athletic play and a play meant for pain?
The whole Saints scandal smells like it is going to go around in circles with pointed fingers and players saying, “Hey, it wasn’t me,” just as the steroids issue in MLB has played out.

So, let the long annoying games begin.

Players involved in the Saints scandal would be smart to follow their roided brethren and deny, deny, deny until proven guilty.

If proven guilty, and for some reason you believe you still have a chance at the Hall of Fame, see Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds for further instructions on how to lie in a court of law.

If you’re insane, speak another language and feel you have a chance to get in the Hall of Fame, see Sammy Sosa for further instructions on how to forget the English language. Bleach may be required for that transformation.

If you’d like to just own up to your mistake and move on with your life, see Andy Pettitte or Jason Giambi on how to just admit to doing something wrong.

Either way, I’m sitting this one out. I’ve seen this movie before.